Where there is no vision, the people perish. Proverbs 29:18a.
There are many reasons to set goals as a single mom.
My best friend gave me wise advice shortly after I became a single mom: Set goals for yourself. What do you want your life to look like in five years? In ten years?
In all the chaos and heartache, she helped me rise just above the fray and gave me a vision of what life could look like.
This may seem simple, but it was a lifeline for me.
My heart was broken, and I was so afraid. But this advice helped me see past this to a future where I had healed and wasn’t so desperate.
This simple activity gave me hope; it can do the same for you.
Setting goals gave me a vision of what was essential and what to focus on.
I made a list of what I wanted for these kids and myself.
Hope can be hard to find for single moms, but goals gave me a focus and a purpose. I wrote about it here.
hope for the Christian single mom (singlemomoutwest.com)
Setting goals helped me focus on the things that I could do and the things that mattered most.
Before setting these goals, I wandered from circumstance to circumstance and reacted to everything.
This included being pushed around by strong people with loud voices and fears that hit me from every side. I was simply a ship being blown around in the winds without an anchor.
And I took these little ones with me on the wild ride-one of my greatest regrets as a single mom.
Writing it down became my anchor.
Set goals that matter.
Single moms must filter through the loud, unhealthy voices surrounding us.
I remember that one of these voices demanded that my kids keep up appearances.
This meant that they were good at sports and school.
My kids were broken into pieces because of what had happened. And yet I tried to put them in sports and was frustrated because they were not doing well.
I’m not against sports, but it wasn’t a good fit at this time.
Looking back, I can see that I put so much pressure on them when they needed to heal and find their footing in this new situation.
I made things so much worse because I didn’t know what was necessary for health and healing.
Not only was it a terrible idea for them, but it was excruciating for me.
Setting goals that mattered saved me from making more mistakes like this.
Write down what is best for your children and you. The goals you set need to be your own. Do not listen to what other misguided people want.
These goals may include:
- Emotional well-being
- A strong faith
- A good education
- Life skills
- Good relationships
- Financial stability
- Future romantic love
- Childhood happiness
- Good memories
Start small as you work on these goals, but do move forward.
Be gentle. Build these relationships. Focusing on these goals should be done warmly and lovingly.
Many baby steps over the years will take you far.
Never sacrifice a relationship for a goal. A loving mother-child relationship should be maintained at all costs.
Be patient. It takes time to see your goals realized.
It takes time to turn a large ship around.
Most of us have had to go through some trauma and brokenness.
But with gentleness and patience, change can happen.
It’s taken a few years to see dramatic changes in myself and these kids, but I’m beginning to see it. And I love it!
I have a long way to go, but I’m seeing growth, happiness, and peace beginning to settle on these kids and me, and I’m so excited!
Here are some additional ideas on Maintaining Focus as a Single Mom:
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/faith-for-single-moms/how-to-maintain-focus/
Goals bring hope. Happy and healthy times are coming.
These kids will be okay. You will be okay. But write down what’s most important. And follow through on the things that matter most.
This article from Focus on the Family is excellent as well!
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting-with-intentionality/
