As a single mom, I was just trying to keep my head above water, I never dreamed that I would also have to learn how to fight cancer, but here I am.
Recently, I was diagnosed with Stage 3a breast cancer. You can read about that here.
Breast Cancer Stories Health Single Mom Out West –
It took my breath away and also my focus. I’m a lousy sick person, so this has been especially challenging, but I have learned a few things.
I want to share them with you.
Breathe and step back.
Slowing your life down will help during this time. Single moms are busy women. During this time we need to purposely take a few things off of our plate and slow down.
The treatments alone will require you to take a step back. The diagnosis will take time to process and grieve.
And give your children more space as well.
Time needs to slow down here.
Keep healthy routines and support systems in place, but back away from further chaos and unnecessary activities.
Give yourself and your children wide margins to process this.
Tell your people. But handle their hearts gently.
Cancer is big. I fell apart and spurted it out. I’m sure that’s to be expected. But I failed to realize that some hearts are more afraid and crushed than others.
Your parents and children need to hear a gentler approach when you tell them.
Some of them may come across angry or frustrated. It’s hard for them to wrap their heads around cancer.
Caring Bridge has an excellent article on this.
How to Gently Explain Cancer to a Child | CaringBridge
Center yourself. And start the prayer chain.
Take some time to center yourself. Journal. Pray. And read God’s word.
It’s okay to cry and be angry. These are honest emotions. Address them head on. Even feelings of betrayal.
It’s okay to completely fall apart and question God.
Cancer is the great unknown. You will need to take one step at a time.
But as you can. Start the prayer chain. And pray about everything. Have your people pray about everything; finances, children, the future, etc.
Start your miracle list.
One of my friends told me that when her husband was fighting cancer they had a list of twenty-eight miracles that occurred.
Brillant. At a time when we feel most abandoned by God, he is there. And he is working. It’s just so hard to see it sometimes.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Get on top of chemotherapy treatments.
It’s hard to parent from a bed.
Parenting alone is hard anyways, but parenting when you are very ill is almost impossible.
And the side effects of chemo can be very difficult to manage.
I crashed for five days before I called my doctor. Oh, how I wish I would have known that he had additional nausea medicine that I could take. If only I had known that!
Accept help and gather resources.
I am slightly independent. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been a single mom for so long. But whatever the case, I feel a bit guilty for being needy.
It’s time to put that aside and accept the help offered. Whether that is from a friend offering to take you to appointments or apply for food stamps.
We need to do what we need to do to survive and to take the pressure off of ourselves.
Consider your timeline.
My doctor keeps telling me that this is not forever. It will end. He tells me to keep telling myself that.
It’s hard for me to understand. To know that this is what I’m doing now but not forever helps.
This is the night, the sunrise will come.
Despite the fact that cancer is scary and unknown, there is always hope.
God loves you and he will be with you. He alone will comfort you.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
Psalms 30:5b
but joy comes with the morning.
