I’m not really bright; never would I have thought that I would have an alcohol and drug addiction in my home. I had married well!
I had my family’s blessing, for Pete’s sake, and he had checked all the boxes.
That couldn’t be why my new husband stayed out all night.
At the time, his story about staying in touch with friends made sense.
To an apparently clueless woman.
Then came a beautiful family trip. And this new husband was almost slurring his words when he talked. Ever the great denier, I still didn’t catch on.
After all, why should I? I had no experience in this area. I was raised entirely without drugs and alcohol. Sure, we had our significant problems, just not this one.
But as time passed, I couldn’t deny it any longer, but I also didn’t know how to fix it.
I thought that if I talked long enough and gave enough ultimatums, things would change.
I was sadly mistaken.
There were healthy steps to take, but I wasn’t in a healthy spot, and I missed the opportunities I could have taken to position myself and my children better.
Let’s start with compassion.
No one wants to do this. But the runaway train is still there.
The people struggling with addiction are dealing with heartache.
Somewhere along the line, their lives were derailed and stolen from them.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10 NIV
Compassion is one thing; denial is another.
Addiction can be anything.
It’s easy to place drinking and drugging as an addiction. But the truth is that addiction is anything that steals from your life.
Addictions destroy the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships.
Things like pornography, gaming, and working can all become out of balance and start to take over your life.
If you feel something has become out of balance, counseling may be an option.
Here is an online Christian therapist directory to help you.
https://www.christiancounselordirectory.com/FindATherapist/
Pause just long enough. Take a slow, even breath.
Consider if your life has become unmanageable.
Stop running. And stop trying. Allow yourself enough of a moment to think through what is really happening in your life.
I spent years trying to fix things. My issue was that I was willing to fix anything but the problem. I worked harder, I spent less, and I worried more.
But I failed to take action when it really counted. I was too afraid.
Find support.
I’m a big believer in Celebrate Recovery. This faith-based program addresses addictions of all sorts.
You can find out more about this program here and possibly find a group that meets near you.
https://www.celebraterecovery.com/
Amazon Affiliate Program: Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.
There is one book on this subject that changed my life and perspective:
Good News for the Chemically Dependent and Those Who Love Them, by Jeff VanVonderen
This book gave me a place to start, and his insights gave me enough courage to address what was really going on.
Addiction hurts everyone.
They say addiction is a family disease. I agree. At some point, everyone in the family is affected. It doesn’t matter how hard we protect the ones we love.
And the worst mistake we can make is ignoring the cost of addiction.
Please consider this earlier post for additional information on Parenting Without a Great Example.
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/parenting-as-single-mom/break-family-cycles/
