It’s not easy to find your faith after trauma.
After battling breast cancer for the last eight months, I’ve been having trouble trusting God and the path he has for me.
(For more on Fighting Breast Cancer as a Single Mom-you may find this post helpful!}
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/health/how-to-fight-cancer/
I admit that this battle made me doubt that God is good.
Some things can have this effect—heartbreaking things.
I never imagined that as a single mom who has done so many hard things, I would face breast cancer! But here I am!
I’ve spent much time asking, “Why me?” and blaming God because he could have stopped it!
He should have known I already had enough on my plate—I needed to be healthy!
Then, I rehearsed my “righteousness.” “Um, God. Look at how hard I have tried. I don’t drink, smoke, or go with boys who do! For heaven’s sake, I am homeschooling my kids!
In all the pain, fear, and heartbreak I’ve known, “He” was with me.
But that wasn’t enough! Or so it seemed.
Yes, I was glad for his presence during the days after my first chemo when I couldn’t eat or drink for days. But it didn’t help me trust him again, if I’m going to be honest!
I felt completely betrayed.
I’m fighting this battle one day at a time. And here is what I’ve learned so far.
God knows we are dealing with trauma, and he is patient. He will never leave us.
I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5c ESV.
We will have good days and bad days as we deal with trauma. God is simply waiting patiently. He will be there when we are ready to talk.
And he will wait when we can’t. But he never leaves.
God is near to the brokenhearted.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:18 NIV
Every child memorizes one verse in the Bible because it’s so easy: “Jesus wept.” John 11:35.
Let that sink in just for a moment.
Jesus wept.
This is what happened when his friend Lazarus died. The God who knew Lazarus would die wept, and the God who knew Lazurus would be raised from the dead wept.
He stopped, and he wept; he wept for the pain that was caused by this death.
Our pain deeply touches God. I believe he has also shed some tears on our behalf, no matter our story.
God will redeem our story.
Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe. Psalms 107:2
I recently spoke to a woman who told me God would redeem my life. And that I would have a story to tell others.
A story that would encourage others and be full of miracles.
That spoke to me deeply.
Satan had laid a trap for me, but God will lift me and restore me.
God will redeem and restore your life.
Faith comes by hearing.
My faith is returning slowly, thanks to an encouraging word from a chance meeting, a song on the radio at just the right time, and small miracles when I need them.
As broken and as beat up as we are…our growth may be slow. It’s taken me months to get to the point of writing again.
After all, what could I say to encourage others when my own faith has been so shaken?
God has been so patient. He sends me little tokens of his love when I need them the most.
Listening to other people’s stories who have been through trauma has been especially encouraging.
One testimony that I have found so encouraging is by Darlene Rose. She was a missionary in New Guinea during World War II. Her amazing testimony will hopefully encourage you!
This is not the end of our story.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. Ecclesiastics 3:1-8 KJV
To everything, there is a season.
Right now, I’m twenty pounds underweight, and I’m bald because of chemo. But this is not where I’m staying.
I’ll gain weight and have new hair. Today, I went to a second-hand store and bought some jeans and pretty shirts.
I will make it through to a new day. God will redeem my life. And I know that God will do the same for you!
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:1
