Gaining self-esteem as a single mom can be complicated, but it affects every area of our lives.
One day, I woke without any self-esteem. Oh, yeah, that’s right, it was in the third grade; the cool girls I sat next to in school told me that I was absolutely “not cool.”
I remember being slightly shocked. Even though I didn’t get it, I knew this was not good.
That was my first introduction to being a bit of a nerd. And it went downhill from there.
Don’t feel too sorry for me. My life was full of friends, good parents, and many happy memories.
But the truth is this thing called self-esteem is hard to keep a hold of.
It’s like riding a wild rollercoaster and expecting to keep your hair nice and neat. We can’t make it through this life without being worn down in this area.
Sometimes, we need a review.
Accepting yourself as a woman of great value can be challenging to attain, but it is worth it!
Your self-esteem affects every area of your life, and discovering it can make a positive difference.
Reject the lies that destroy your self-esteem.
When our brain is full of lies, it isn’t ready to receive the truth.
Here are some that we have all believed.
Lie #1: Self-esteem comes from physical beauty.
That’s a dousy. If that were true, then all beautiful women would have self-esteem. And we know that is not the case.
There are also too many average women with more self-esteem than more beautiful women. So, we can assume that self-esteem does not come from that.
Lie #2: Self-esteem comes with more intelligence.
That would seem to be the case, but we know it’s not. There are too many miserable, intelligent people for that to be true.
Lie #3: Approval from people control your self-esteem.
Hmm… The problem with this is that if we stand back and look, we can see how completely screwed up these people are.
When our self-esteem is banking on the approval of some people, we will always come up short.
Parents, teachers, friends, and loved ones should not be relied on solely for our self-esteem. They may have too many of their own issues and misperceptions.
And there are times when we must go against the approval of others. If we do not, we destroy our and our children’s lives.
Everyone has strong opinions about your life, but you cannot always please them and do the right thing.
Self-esteem cannot be solely dependent on the approval of others.
Lie #4: Self-esteem equals our successes.
I’m almost tempted to believe this. But we need to look a little closer.
Life is hard. There are many people, circumstances, and situations that affect the amount of success we can achieve.
In my situation, I am a single mom with four kids, doing the very best I can. But there are limitations, right?
I cannot abandon and send them to excessive time in daycare and poor schooling.
It goes against my beliefs. This is a limitation. I’m not complaining. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
But if I judge myself on a financial scale, I would lose.
If my self-esteem equals the amount in my bank account, yikes!
You can succeed in different areas; these positive experiences improve your self-esteem.
But while we can acknowledge our wins, we must also be aware that we may not succeed in every area every time.
Work hard, try hard, but don’t base your self-esteem on the amount of successes you’ve had. There are too many variables.
Reject the lies forcefully.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
2 Corinthians 10:5
We must become very good at “throwing” out lies! God speaks peace and love to you. Your self-esteem does not depend on these lies.
Actively fighting against these lies is key to gaining self-esteem.
Embrace God’s vision for self-esteem.
I may be twenty pounds overweight, divorced, and broke as a dropped teapot, but my self-esteem doesn’t come from this.
We are made in the image of God.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Genesis 1:27 KJV
This is big. We have been created to reflect God’s image.
Our self-esteem comes from being made fearfully and wonderfully.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Psalms 139: 14-15.
God put a lot of thought into our design. Our personality, physical appearance, and intelligence come from a God who loves us.
We are his children. And understanding this is fundamental to gaining self-esteem.
We are not random people without a heritage or a history; we are God’s children. He created us to be loved by him and to love him.
Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
1 John 3:1 KJV
Please read additional information about being the daughter of the King here.
Embracing who we are in Christ is vital to gaining self-esteem!
Life can be challenging. And it can take a lot out of you.
But you can regain positive self-esteem if you reject lies and focus on God’s truth and love for you.
This may not be easy, but it is worth it.
