Decision-making for single moms holds a lot of weight. It is vital that the decisions we make are made with wisdom and insight.

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26 (ESV)

Learning from others. And feeling their pain.

I heard a woman the other day on a talk show.

As a young single mom, she panicked when her husband left. She had called in to say the thing that she regretted most.

She had thrown herself into her nursing schooling and career without questioning the effect it would have on her children.

While there is a balance in which work and family must exist, she hadn’t found it. The children had already lost one parent and felt abandoned entirely by whatever schedule and chaos came into their lives.

The result was adult children who resented her for not being there and wanted nothing to do with her. You could hear the heartbreak in her voice.

Learning how to make decisions with fewer regrets is vital.

How do I provide for these children and myself? I’ve had some big decisions lately. I could go back to school to earn a high-pressure degree. I could do that.

But what would it put my children through? They’re so tiny. Are they going to understand “my stress”? Are they going to be able to “fend for themselves”?

They aren’t ready to carry those burdens. I would cheat them of a happy childhood and leave them with unmet needs. I would take away their security and peace.

Place the children’s needs first.

So, I’ve decided to put their needs first. I know I will have to provide for them. But I also know that I can get by with less.

I will take less now so they can have their needs met. I need to be fully engaged to connect with, discipline, protect, and provide their sense of well-being. 

You might be facing the same decision. Are you willing to prayerfully consider that, for now, God may want you to have and do less?

There’s the God-given responsibility, but desperation can make us out of balance and neglectful.

Asking the hard questions can prevent us from making long-term destructive decisions.

Decisions that deeply wound those we love the most.

We must ask hard questions and answer them honestly for the sake of our children and their safety, happiness, and future.

God has promised to provide, and He will. But He doesn’t want us to sacrifice our children out of desperation and a need to prove ourselves to others.

This is not an excuse for laziness and lack of movement but a purposeful guide in making decisions we won’t regret later.

Knowing the difference between needs and wants will guard against making poor choices.

I’ve had a belly full of stories of kids hurt when their moms were out partying.

I understand the need to be with friends and know the temptation to let your hair down and escape the stress. But if we cannot go and know that our babies are safe and in a good place, then we wait.

Later in life, we will get our chance. But right now, we stay the course. We are the safe people. And we do the right thing for these “littles.”

We can save ourselves and our kids from so much heartache.

The woman on the radio just threw herself into work, but there are a hundred ways we can make this wrong—men, dating, career, finances, school choices, emotional neglect, etc.

We have a lot of decisions to make. And our choices carry more weight because we parent alone. Or mostly alone.

Let’s make decisions with wisdom, self-sacrifice, and love.

Then, we will reap profound and successful results.

And we will give our kids the future they deserve!

For additional insights on pursuing wisdom, please consider this post:

https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/faith-for-single-moms/beating-despair-with-wisdom/