Ways to protect kids.
There are many ways to protect kids. These are the ones that have worked for our family, but each family should decide on their own guidelines.
Finding ways to protect your kids can save you and your children from heartache.
A wise man is full of strength,
and a man of knowledge enhances his might.Proverbs 24:5 ESV
Keeping my kids safe as a single mom has been a priority.
Why? Because I’ve seen the other end of this.
I’ve seen the fourteen-year-old after her mother’s boyfriend took advantage of her, the child placed in a bad daycare, and the bullying effects of a sixth grader. And it breaks my heart!
In my life, it was the sixth grader who couldn’t sleep at night because he had to face bullying the next day.
I wish I could say I protected my child from this harm, but I didn’t.
Partly because I didn’t fully understand what was happening. (Kids are so embarrassed that they may not fully disclose the extent of what is happening.)
And partly because I was so caught up in my work dramas, I didn’t thoroughly stop to understand what was happening.
And when I finally did, it broke my heart. How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so unfeeling as not to stop it immediately?
Sadly, I’m not the only parent who has fallen short. A slew of kids are out there who have not been adequately protected.
And I’m wondering what we could do differently and how we can find ways to protect our kids.
Make protecting your kids a priority because not doing it will destroy you and them.
By wisdom a house is built,
Proverbs 24:3-4 NIV
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.
Setting up protective boundaries for our kids provides healthy development and emotional health.
Imagine giving your children a happy and healthy childhood!
Raising kids with wholeness as a priority creates adults who are healthy and at peace.
Choosing not to prioritize this is setting yourself up for something to happen.
We need to have practical family guidelines that protect our children.
The first way to keep your children safe is to let them know their safety is your priority.
We do this by being open with our kids about safety. I have repeatedly told my children that their safety is my first job.
This opens their mind to matters of safety. It’s a simple step, but it creates a family mindset on what is safe and how the family values safety.
Expand on this. “That means that I am responsible for your physical health, online safety, mental health, sexual development, emotional and character development.
That means I ensure they wear bicycle helmets, brush their teeth, and do not watch R-rated movies.
They don’t always appreciate me, but they know my priority is their safety in all areas.
Talking to them about safety in all areas of life opens the door to honesty. Discussions about school and life are vital!
“Have you been bullied at school? Does someone make you feel uncomfortable?”
Talk about the adverse effects of porn, bullying, too much sugar, etc.
Ask them about ways to keep kids safe.
The second safety step is to be seen at every event they are involved in.
And if you cannot make it, send a favorite and trusted Grandparent.
This includes sporting activities, Sunday School classes, school, and neighborhoods.
Being actively involved and seen decreases the chances of being victimized.
Accountability and accessibility are required in all areas: electronics, television and movies, relationships, and living spaces.
The third way is to consider who is allowed direct access to your children.
One of the ways to keep kids safe is to evaluate who has direct access to them.
Some people with unquestioned access to our children might include family members, church leadership, group leaders, friends’ parents, teachers, and romantic interests.
Daycare, nannies, and babysitters need to be carefully scrutinized. PureWow has created a list of childcare questions.
https://www.purewow.com/family/questions-to-ask-daycare
Many moms choose to work from home or have trusted family members watch their children if working from home is not an option.
Most situations in which kids are victimized come from misplaced trust.
And finally, the most important way to keep your children safe is to listen to your children.
Teach your children to tell you when something doesn’t feel right. They get a voice! Teach them they can tell you anything; you will carefully listen and believe them.
If there is a situation or friendship they do not want to continue, put it on pause until you can understand what is going on.
They may not fully understand what is wrong, but it is worth carefully considering.
In my situation, my child begged me to homeschool him! It took me a long time to figure out what was going on.
And when I did finally understand what was happening, I went to the school for a meeting.
Trusted teachers and counselors tried to convince me to leave him in school. They insisted they knew what was best for this child. But it didn’t add up.
How could constant bullying be good for a child?
I listened to my son, saw his heartache and deep anxiety, and knew I needed to make some drastic changes.
Mama Bears get a bad rap. But truthfully, they want what’s best for their cubs.
And they are willing to do anything to protect those boundaries.
We want to be women and moms who are watchful, careful, courageous, and invested.
Mistakes happen, and healing should be pursued wholeheartedly.
Counseling is available and encouraged for hurt and trauma that has happened.
But being a caring mom is a goal worth pursuing!
Here is a link to an additional article I have written on creating feelings of peace and safety in our children.
How to Create Feelings of Peace and Safety as a Single Mom. – (singlemomoutwest.com)
